__________________________________________________ Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ). 問: 澳洲風會很大嗎? 在電視上我從沒看過澳洲下雨, 這樣植物要怎麼生長啊?(英國)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. 答: 我們所有植物都用進口的, 然後我們就把它們擺著看它們枯死. __________________________________________________
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA ) 問: 我在街頭看到到袋鼠嗎?(美國)
A:Depends how much you've been drinking. 答: 你喝茫了才有. __________________________________________________
Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden ) 問: 我想從柏斯走到雪梨- 我可以沿著鐵路軌道走達嗎? (瑞典)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water. 答: 當然可以, 只有3千哩路那麼遠, 記得多喝水. __________________________________________________
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK ) 問: 澳洲有任何提款機嗎? 你可以給我一份布里斯本, 凱恩斯, 坦思維爾還有Hervey灣所有提款機地點的資料嗎? (英國)
A: What did your last slave die of? 答: 你是怎麼折磨死你上一個奴隸的? (編: 這幾個都是大城市, ATM可能有好幾千台) __________________________________________________
Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA ) 問: 請給我一些河馬賽跑的資料 (美國)
A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. 答: 非。洲。 是一個大三角形狀的大陸位於歐洲南邊. 澳。大。利。亞。是一個在太平洋中間的大島, 而且澳洲根本就沒有...... 算了. 澳洲當然有賽河馬, 每星期2晚上在Kings Cross舉行, 記得要裸體來喔! (編: Kings Cross是雪梨知名紅燈區, 很多遊客都會去那邊胡搞)
Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA ) 問: 在澳洲, 北部是哪個方向?(美國) (編: 澳洲在南半球)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. 答: 面對南方然後轉身180度即可. 你到澳洲以後記得聯絡我們, 我會再告訴你其他方位的位置. _________________________________________________
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK ) 問: 我可以帶餐具去澳洲嗎?(英國)
A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do... 答: 為什麼要帶餐具? 來澳洲就跟我們一樣用手吃啊...... __________________________________________________
Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA ) 問: 請給我一份維也納男童合唱團的時間表 (美國)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. 奧。地。利。 是位於德國旁邊的小國, 合唱團是..... 喔 算了. 當然, 維也納男童合唱團的表演是在Kings cross, 每個星期2晚上賽河馬完了以後就會開始, 記得裸體來喔! (編: 維也納是奧地利首都. 奧地利 Austria跟澳大利亞 Australia只差兩個英文字母, 國外有些人會搞混. 金凱瑞名片阿呆與阿瓜就說過這個笑話.) __________________________________________________
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK ) 問: 我在澳洲可以穿高跟鞋嗎?(英國) A: You are a British politician, right? 答: 你是英國政治家對不對? (編: 這個我不懂, 有誰可以解釋一下嗎?) __________________________________________________
Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany ) 問: 雪梨有超級市場嗎? 全年都買到到鮮奶嗎?(德國)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal. 答: 不行! 澳洲吃的是全素, 喝牛奶是違法的! __________________________________________________
Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA ) 問: 請給我一份有響尾蛇毒素血清的醫生名單 (美國)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. 答: 響尾蛇只有亞。美。利。佳。才有, 就是你住的地方. 澳洲所有的蛇都無毒, 可以拿來當寵物養. (編: 很多美國人都認為澳洲蛇很多, 可是澳洲真的沒有響尾蛇) __________________________________________________
Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA ) 我想問關於一種很出名的澳洲動物, 我忘了名字. 好像是一種住在樹上的熊.(美國)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. 答: 這種動物叫做 掉下熊. 他們會有這個名稱是因為牠們都躲在橡膠樹上, 等有人走經過樹下, 就從樹上跳到別人頭上吃他們腦漿. 你在自己身上小便就可以防牠們. (編: Dropbear是一種外國人幻想版本的攻擊性無尾熊) __________________________________________________
Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA ) 問: 我發明一種產品叫做青春之泉, 請問我可以在澳洲哪裡銷售這個產品?(美國)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. 答: 任何老美多的地方都可以賣. __________________________________________________
Q:Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France ) 問: 你們會慶祝聖誕節嗎? (法國)
A: Only at Christmas. 答: 只有聖誕節當天才會慶祝, 其他日子都沒有喔. __________________________________________________
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA ) 問: 在澳洲, 我說英文行得通嗎?(美國)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first 答: 可以, 可是你要先會講英文才行.
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